"I'm a very worried mother. I have a 20month old daughter and she is a Picky eater.she was borned 38weeks and 6lbs &10ozs. from the day my daughter came into this world until present time she still won't eat. She only drinks about 6ozs of cows milk 1/2 of a banana. 1/2 slice of cheese. I've tried everything I can think of to give my daughter. she still refuse to eat my doctor tells me not to worry myself but being a 1st time mother (38) it's very hard".

"Mmm she stopped drinking milk at about 1 year and would only drink weak tea, coffee or chocolate milk..or water. She would only eat chocolate, jelly and plain pasta from about 2 - 5 years, but she still liked coffee and water, whoopee. She still doesn't eat butter, or milk, or tomatoes, or greens, or sandwiches, or stewed meat, or anything with juice or gravy, she still likes pasta but has it with cheese sauce now and she still drinks loads of water, quite likes coffee but has switched to coke for her caffeine intake.

Yet she is never ill, hardly ever tired, is a good active student and reasonably helpful in the house. She eats quite well within her limited range and keeps an ideal weight, she does nearly all of her own cooking, including her packed lunches, which is an added bonus (she wouldn't trust me to get it right!). My sister has a child who never seems to eat, , my cousin was the same and he is now a personal fitness trainer and is as fit as fit they really do magically survive seemingly years of no real food.

My advice, frustrating as it is, respect their right to have responsibility of what goes into their body. We can't force feed them and expect them to feel responsible over their food intake, drug intake or alcohol intake in later years. Don't over-ride their natural ability to know when to stop eating, what to eat and when to eat, it could be storing up eating disorders and weight problems in the future.

And don't worry about what they eat, my doctor once said the worst kind of food is no food (when I was crying in his surgery about her only eating chocolate), so let them eat cake if its all they will eat! Believe me, they somehow survive and still look shiny!"

"Is it normal for toddler's to go off their cooked meals? A few weeks ago my son started refusing to a cooked meal. He will eat breakfast and lunch but as soon as I put a cooked meal in front of him, he turns away, says no and gets quite upset. I find this particularly frustrating. I am taking it away and not forcing it on him but sometimes a wonder what else I can do?"

"I have an 8 month old daughter who is already a picky eater. She is finally eating a home cooked meal after a fairly long phase of refusing all my home cooked pureed food in favour of jars of baby food. These she had to have not just warmed or even room temperature, but chilled! Now that I am expecting our second child it's even more important that we both have a healthy meal. I'm now preparing meals that we can have together on the same plate. This seems to have cured her fussy eating. Today I've even managed to get her to eat baked potato topped with broccoli, cauliflower and a couple of melted cheese triangles. I eat mine whole while Gemma has hers mashed with a fork on my plate. Hope this helps anyone having the same problem." Michelle & Gemma

"At two Adam went completely off hot foods that where mixed together like spaghetti bolognese or chicken casserole? Each food had to be served separately on the plate so that he could see exactly what he is eating. He would eat hot finger foods though, such as baby corn, carrots, fish fingers, chopped up baby potatoes and sausages."

"My son is four and a half now and thriving despite various problems we've had with food. I can vividly remember how distressed I used to feel when he wouldn't eat. I felt such a responsibility for him that I found it really hard not to worry! Saying that I have now got used to his picky eating and we are all the happier for it. Even now we've got a very limited repertoire for dinners but if he wants cereal I now let him have it without a fight as it's still good for him."

"Hearing what I do from other mums are experiencing and knowing what my daughter was like between two and four I'd say it is pretty normal for toddlers to start exercising their ability to choose what they do and do not want to eat. What's hard I feel is actually coping with this behaviour. I feel you should do what feels right to you, even if it is frustrating and try not to beat yourself about the way you are coping or not!"

"I don't believe that children ever develop a revulsion for food. Emma and I used to have huge fights around the table but part of me felt that I needed to lay down some ground rules about what was acceptable. Part of me feels that if you give into them when they get angry or cry then they learn that that's the way to get what they want."

Let me quote something from a book that gave me hope when my twins decided to stop eating at 25mths.

'It is common for a toddler at about two years of age to virtually stop eating, at least in the mother's eyes! He only eats as much as he needs and often only what he has a taste for. There is a physiological explanation for this. At this age of development, the rate of growth, and therefore the calorie requirements, normally decrease and with this there is a fall-off in appetite. This often causes great anxiety to the parents who believe their child will stave himself to death. He won't.'

This turned out to be quite true with my two, who still aren't great eaters but we're definitely through the worst of it! On to the next challenge!"

The quote is taken from:
'Make it better, childhood ills and ailments'
Dr. Ilya Kovar
Published by Octopus Books Ltd., 59 Grosvenor St., London W1.
ISBN: 0 7064 2030 6

"Despite all my efforts to feed my son on home cooked food as a baby, every vegetable you could imagine, lentils, meat and fish, pureed by my own hands, I still have a very picky child!

To begin with I was really annoyed. I have now, to a certain degree, grown used his eating habits I still have days when I find it very difficult to cope with!

One big thing I've realised is that toddlers don't get bored of eating the same food every day! Jam sandwiches and cheese for lunch every day and preferably no tea at all!

He also likes to eat things separately, one food at a time. Give him a sandwich and he'll look at you as if you are mad but put some bread, a piece of cheese and a chunk of cucumber on a plate and he's happy.

A big no no are BITS, whether it is in yoghurts, pasta sauces or fruit in jelly!

If he's not hungry he won't eat. Then the next day he'll eat everything in sight.

Sitting at the table for long periods is physically not possible. Ten minutes maximum and he's ready to be off again. Sitting down for meals is just a waste of good playing time! One good way I've found to encourage eating is to have picnics! A plate of food on a towel on the floor is much more fun than being made to sit at the table with mum!"