Relationships
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The arrival of a baby has an enormous
impact on your relationships with your partner, your
family and your friends. Finding time for your relationships
is not always easy but talking to each other becomes
even more important than ever.
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Sharing the responsibility
My partner has always been very good
at sharing the workload of child rearing
and helping with housework. We both
work, so he knows that he must help
out otherwise I couldn't cope. Sometimes,
I find that he doesn't see what needs
to be done around the house, so I
leave him very obvious hints, like
leaving the hoover in the middle of
the hall, he soon gets the message!
I can't really blame
my partner for not helping more with
Peter, our son. I know that I think
I have a better way with him and that
my way works best. By telling him
that I don't think he is handling
things with Peter very well I have
lost a lot of support and help that
I know he was prepared to offer. I
am trying to just let him get on with
it and make mistakes (as I see them!)
but I still find it hard.
My husband is the
breadwinner and I think that he thinks
this means he doesn't have to help,
even at the weekends. I don't mind
at all being the major carer during
the week, including all evenings and
night interruptions but it does bug
me at the weekend when he stays in
bed most of the morning. It causes
a lot of resentment. I know he works
hard during the week, but so do I
and I do expect some support at the
weekend. Having him asleep, in the
house while I am busy with the kids
downstairs adds insult to injury!
Changing Roles
"Nothing changes for men - they
just go about their life as before"
"I sometimes feel life a single
mum. He goes to work before the children
are awake and comes home after they've
gone to bed!"
"Why do I feel like I have to
ask permission if I want to go out?
My husband just goes!"
Grandparents
"My mother always makes out
she was the perfect mother. This really
winds me up when I am struggling with
Tom. I am not saying she wasn't a
great mum it just makes me feel a
bit of a failure."
"I am so envious of my next door
neighbour's daughter. She drops her
2 smaller children off at grandmas almost
every day and then goes to work. I wish
I had that kind of support it would
make going back to work so much easier."
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SUPPORT
LINK
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Relate is
a registered charity with over 60
years' experience of helping people
with their relationships. There are
Relate centres across the country
offering counselling and parenting
skills courses.
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Relate
Herbert Gray College
Little Church Street
Rugby
Warwickshire
CV21 3AP
01788 573241
www.relate.org.uk
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