Plan childcare ahead of time and get as much variety in your arrangements as possible. That way, if one element breaks down, you have others to fall back on. Fix up days with trusted family members, friends or neighbours as well as using kids' or youth clubs and out of school activities (check they are properly accredited with the local council). Swap days with other parents - you care for their children as well as your own for a couple of days, they then care for yours.

Instead of both parents taking all their leave together, you might split it up into each spending time alone with your children - you extend cover and also both have a chance for quality time alone with them; a family holiday, all together; and adult time as a couple.

Children welcome the freedom of school holidays but can actually find the lack of routine unsettling. It helps to keep some structure, asking them to do chores, get up and go to bed at reasonable times and have some purpose in what they do.

Young people need unstructured, 'chill out' time as much as adults do. They aren't being aimless or lazy if they spend part of their free time simply hanging around. But they also need direction and goals or they can get out of the habit of thinking and focusing, with unfortunate results when they go back to school. Help them come up with a project for the holidays - researching local or family history, learning more about an interest of theirs or about wherever you may be planning to visit on holiday.

Involve even young children in plans, asking them what they want and how they feel. This won't lead to anarchy - it will reduce conflict. It helps to share the load and realise that, as a parent, you can't be and don't have to be responsible for all their entertainment. Even small children can organise their own time, if asked to do so and helped to plan a schedule. And it's really important to get their views and their needs on board when planning a family holiday.

When kids say they're bored, sometimes they mean they're depressed - missing friends or family members or the security of routine. Help them see or otherwise stay in touch with the people they miss, even if you aren't happy with the contact.

If your family has changed, through separation, death or repartnering, recognise that children may find holidays a 'specially difficult time. They may want to be with or miss other people or resent the presence of new family members they consider interlopers. They may not be able to tell you how they are feeling or why and act out anger, anxiety and pain with bad behaviour. Be patient and supportive and try to get them to talk about the real source of their unhappiness - the family change - rather than the conflict at hand.

Arrange with your place of work to take your child along with you for at least one day. Not only does this help with childcare, it allows your child to see what you do when you're away from them.

Parents often feel guilty at not spending enough time with their children during long holidays, but quality is far more important than quantity. Don't begrudge their time with other family members or friends but make the best of time together. Parents should try to take equal time off. If the responsibility always falls on one parent they may feel resentful as well as tired and harassed. But most of all, children appreciate spending private time with each parent and parents benefit from developing a relationship with their children that doesn't depend on the other parent.

It's important for parents to have time off for themselves - for summer to be more than just a childcare exercise. Arrange for children to spend days, a weekend or even a week with friends or other family members so you can have quality time to do what you want and need.

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