Your Views and Comments

I have just returned to work after being off for 6 months with my child. The last few months I was off I felt sick thinking about leaving my son. I couldn't enjoy the time I had with him. Now I am back at work I am really struggling with it. I feel very upset and dread leaving him, I feel he will miss out but I am also petrified he wont know I am his mum. People keep telling me he will but it just keeps playing on my mind. I have managed to get my hours reduced by 1 hour but its still incredibly hard, going to work and then coming home to tidy and sort the house etc, as well as trying to spend time with the baby & hubby. I am hoping it'll get easier but i can't see it happening. Ideally i would love to work part time but its just not possible at the moment. I don't think I'll have another baby anytime soon as its far too painful leaving them. I may change my mind....

Jen

I just want to highlight that working mums are not terrible mums who are career focused not child focused. I work a full 48 hour week in a job I love. I have a child minder 2 1/2 days a week and the rest of the time my hubby and i work our shifts around each other. its hard work, i never have time to myself and i often have to mop the kitchen floor at midnight cause there just isn't any other time to do it! BUT I wouldn't change my life. because i the time we have as a family is limited we make the most of it and its always special. our daughter gets a happy dedicated mummy who cannot wait to spend time with her,so she knows how much she is loved and adored. I value my time so much more now as its so much more valuable. I still breastfeed/express and will continue to do so for the next 4 months til she is 1 year old.

My career keeps me sane and my family make me happy.

Cath

Hi there, I am in a very fortunate position I am a full (ish) time mum of one, my little girl goes to nursery one day a week and her gran looks after her one day a week. Because my husband has got a very good job I do not need to work (yes I am very lucky!). For the past few months I have been busy planning our wedding but this has now past I have quite alot of free time. I want to keep her at nursery because I think it is important she mixes with others and her gran loves looking after her. For a while now I haven't worked. I have had some great jobs in the past but since I relocated in 2003 I have really struggled to find a job I have liked. Just before I fell pregnant (over 2yrs now) I gained my HEFC qualifications in prep for my Occupational Therapy degree, a complete career move, but since my daughter was born I have put this on hold though something I wish to do when children have grown up (yes we are planning for another child). However, the way I feel at the minute is very undervalued, I have lost my identity and my confidence.. all my friends work even those with children and I feel inferior to them. (You are treated differently if you are a full time mum no doubt about it!) My current state is affecting my relationship with my husband and my enthusiasm towards looking after my little girl. I need a job for my sanity, ideally based from home so the days she isn't at nursery/grans I can continue looking after her. I have thought about various jobs but competition is so high. I did Account Management/Customer Service for a while which I loved but could I do this from home?? Since stopping work my confidence has evaporated more and more and I am scared to do anything but now it is about time I take charge of the situation and do something about it... Has anyone else felt or feel like this? I do feel guilty posting this as I know alot of people would love to not have to work. Thank you.

Katy

I have just returned to work and have been back for 6 weeks. I was initially going to come back part time and have my little boy with his grandparents. But my partner has just started an apprenticeship, so he is on a low wage for 2 years. So we decided it was best for to return full time. Let me tell you that was not an easy decision to make. So now he is with grandparents for three days a week and child care for two. I miss seeing him everyday and I'm so afraid that I'm going to miss out on some of his big milestones. I was lucky because he is an early learner. He is nearly 9 months old now and has taken his first steps, and I got to see that so I was very lucky!! but I agree with people that say going back to work is hard, work at work and work at home, it's never ending!! But I would never give it up for the world!

Kate

I am a 40 something mum of 3 boys 4,7 and 10. I didn't have my first son until I was 31 so I was used to working and having my own income, I wanted to stay home but felt comfined by that all day everyday. I think you need to think outside the square a bit. I have worked for others and for myself. I have worked in call centres which offered 24 hour 7 day a week positions and worked nights so I could be home during the day, sure you're tired but hey you're tired anyway. I did an acylic nail course and worked from home doing nails, manicures etc. I now work at home again, I look after other peoples children while they work, it's called Family Day Care here in Australia there are other forms of it in most countries. It a great way to work and stay home with your children. I also do some networking on the side with a great company who have the worlds first range of certified organic skin care and cosmetics so I can make a few more dollars for myself while still at home.

There's a lot of alternatives, you just need to have a look at the business around you, maybe do a quick course, learn something new and most important, don't feel guilty with your decision, you come first otherwise your no good at all to your family, you have to do what works for you.

Michelle

I have recently quit my full time Job after 6 years of working, between giving birth to my two children ages 4 and 2 I have had 6 months off, Work and Home life is very trying and I wasn't getting quality time with my children and Partner which I missed. I am now 2 months Pregnant and am really looking forward to my new life.

"Don't accept the first job offer that you get just because it makes you feel wanted and confident. Thrash out all the issues and potential problems of money, childcare etc, with your partner, and get advice from friends and family. I've just turned down a job after saying yes which felt awful, but had to as after proper discussion with my husband it was clear he was unsupportive of that job, because he thought I deserved better. However with more time I might get a business off the ground that suits us all".

Tricia