As a 35 year old woman it would be difficult to get through life without picking up on your peer groups birthing experiences - the good, the bad and the ugly! So when I discovered that I was pregnant in February of this year I knew I wanted to do something a little different to simply handing myself over to the whims of the NHS and take the lottery chance of meeting the right midwife at the right time for me and my baby.

We were also in the process of trying to move house and I had found out that the place I was possibly looking to buy had no local obstetric care - so this didn't sit too well either for me- visions of lots of long car journeys with a huge bump just to have check ups. So I began to search the web for other ideas and came across this site 'ForParentsByParents'. I told them I was looking for an independent midwife so that I could have a bit more say in what happened to me and they helped, via a very lovely Doula, to get me the number of Anja Kositzki-Metzner, a midwife practicing in the East Sussex/Kent/Surrey areas.

Anja phoned and we had a fantastic long chat about what I wanted, what she could do to provide it and also answer any questions I had about the whole process - I booked her there and then on the phone! Being self employed I need flexibility in my care otherwise I could stand to loose quite a bit of money - so having Anja come to my house for each session, at a time to suit, is fantastic. We talk through everything and anything that is coming up for me and get to know each other's characters which I think is going to be an important factor in her knowing how to guide me (and my husband) through the birth.

She is also available by email or phone when ever I need to ask a little question or be re assured which I love - and also means that I have not developed the habit of reading any books which I think would possibly fill me with just a bit too much info for my over active imagination to dwell on! I trust her opinion and judgement completely and as a result I am feeling very calm, secure and content.

We are moving towards a home birth, in my new house - (which we have yet to move into but hope to by the beginning of Aug!) in a birthing pool which Anja recommends giving a go - and as I love being in the bath think it will be the perfect place for some if not all of my birth! She will stay for the whole duration of the birth and be my midwife no matter what happens and where we end up delivering the baby, and this is a great comfort to know. Taking independent care is the best gift I have ever given myself. With a sister who is 5 weeks ahead of me with her first pregnancy, I am noticing the difference in mind set and care between us. She lives in Belgium and is having very strong medical intervention already due to some early on bleeding - with up to 7 scans and constant check ups, her feelings of being in control over her own birth are non existent, it's definitely the hospital who are giving birth for her - and as a result she has more anxiety than me. Who knows what will happen for either of us 'when push comes to shove' but I know that I feel very ready to deal with what is the worlds most natural process - birth.

Suzy Bolt. due 17th Nov.

I would like to thank Suzy for writing this wonderful review of her experience, and wish her good luck with her pregnancy and birth - Debbie

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